What a wonderful world it is when you come to a house of a friend and she ends up having fabulous books that you had on your book list. I am back on the horse so to speak with this blog….Thanks to ALL who are reading it and my apologies as I drop off the face of the earth at times. I simply need to unplug and dive into deep inner processes within myself and beyond myself to balance my system…
But now I am “above” ground and ready to contribute sensual, tantric, healing posts that inspire, enliven, educate, and hopefully add some spice and energy to your worlds. And as always I hope to bring you into a deeper inquiry investigating the nature of “reality” and what it is that TRULY feeds your soul. And how sensuality and sex are so profoundly interwoven into all of this, regardless if your having it or not.
I’m reading Ecstasy is Necessary by Barbra Carrellas and she invites us (the readers) to get in touch with our Authentic Sexual Self. So that we can really discover how we operate in terms of relationship, sexual style, and erotic appetite. Most of what we have learned is pretty cookie cutter as if sex was a one size fits all experience. We are also so bombarded by guilt and shame in this country around anything related to pleasure, and I don’t just mean sexual pleasure, I mean any kind of sensual pleasure-relaxing, getting a massage, enjoying a good meal, taking a walk for no reason. Especially here in NYC where so many of us are in work overdrive, to stay competitive, on our edge and keeping up. I was astounded by the answers she received when she began to ask people “Why do you do sex?””What does it give you?” “Whats the delight?” and “Whats the big pay off?” She says “the truth is we don’t all do sex for the same reasons”.
Here are the some of the answers she came up with:: (There were many more but I chose the ones that really stood out for me)
-To Connect /communicate with another person.
-To turn my brain off.
-To lighten up.
-To feel Wanted and Needed.
-To explore different sides of my personality.
-To Open My Heart
-To experience Altered States
-It Makes Me Feel Grounded
-Its the most authentic time I have with myself
-It’s one of the only ways I enjoy being present in my body.
Doesn’t this open up so much more your view of the human being? So often I feel like subtly we look at sexual appetite as some lecherous, needy experience, so conditioned we are to see men as dogs and women as whores. Of course our view is not so extreme but in the sub-conscious if we are really honest with our judgement I am sure we can find those extreme belief systems inside of us. I credit this mostly to religion and the media. But when we strip away our superficial conscious mind and begin to question what really motivates us to seek sex, its amazing what we might find. Uncovering our authentic needs and desires, helps us to get CLEAR, about what we are really seeking, have more compassion for ourselves and our partners. It also helps us to see that the people we are in partnership with may have a totally different reason why they enjoy sex and by understanding what really makes them tick, we can create more nourishing sexual exchanges.
She writes” The longer I talked to people about the true value sex had in their lives, the more I could see a through line. The majority of people reported that they liked sex because of some form of connection. What differed was what they preferred to be in connection with. Some people wanted to be in connection with another person. Others wanted connection with God/Goddess/All That Is. Some wanted connection with an aspect of themselves, while others wanted a feeling of purpose, or aliveness, or love, or inner peace. I personally subscribe to the theory that all human desire for connection is a desire for connection with the divine, for connection with God/Goddess/Universe/All That Is. Sex and sexual energy allow us a direct physical experience of the divine within ourselves and with others–a direct connection to the center of everything.”
I love her. Thank you Barbra. She speaks to my soul about this path of Sensual Tantric Healing….to embrace this incredible energy of our sexuality as being divine, and NECESSARY for us to heal as whole human beings.
If you want to Read more of Ecstasy is Necessary click here to order her book thru amazon…
And check out my site as I begin to add some new offerings, pictures and more….Blessings as always on your healing path, may love guide your way home.