A friend recently told me “tantra is a path of gratitude”. I had never looked at like that before. Not that I would disagree with this statement but I had never phrased it that way. It made me pause and nod my head while I took it in and digested that remark.
I have chosen to adopt this phrase. Especially today on the day of thanks and giving. Been a day of solitude for me, having been invited a few places, but finding that I am enjoying the quiet of NYC and the alone time in a quiet apartment with a quiet cat. Today I am grateful for quiet and solitude, on a day when most people are probably busy and celebrating. I will attend desert at a friend’s house so as not to miss out on the energy of celebration and togetherness, but for right now, solitude is aweome.
Tantra IS a path of gratitude. Not just today. But every day. So easily in this modern-day world that stresses all the things we need to have in order to be happy, and uses the power of the emotional hook to sell product after product (just watch tv for 5 minutes after yoga class and you will be amazed at how much clearer you see the advertising worlds manipulation of our heart-strings to sell their stuff) we often can get tricked into thinking and feeling as if what we have is not enough. Let me rephrase. I get tricked into thinking this way and then acting from a place of scarcity and lack.…running around trying to get the next thing or make something happen.
Of course we want to create wonderful lives and that does often include things in the practical 3rd dimension like healthy food, technology, beautiful clothes and delicious entertainment. For sure we should enjoy living in the world and participating in it. But when it becomes an energy of constantly needing more, needing better, a sense of striving that never gets satiated, we know we are missing the true joy inherent in life. To run after things that just lead to another need and more running, keeps us in a cycle of unfulfilled desires. Which just creates more desire. It an endless cycle that really leads nowhere except to the realization of our futile attempts.
Today after I went to the gym I sat on the porch and I just watched the sky. The steam coming up from the building across from me, somebody probably cooking something wonderful, the sounds of children and families coming thru the windows around the Manhattan neighborhood. The sun was bright and all I had to do was watch how the steam billowed up to the sky. And it was enough. There was contentment in a way that I have not been affording myself, as I have been too caught up to really sit tight and just be. I have been too busy running around trying to make life happen. Today it was a holiday and this gave me permission I wish I would remember to afford myself more often. Because, there was joy in that steam and peace in my sitting. The silent, sweet soft cat by my side reminding me to slow down and let life in. What a gift.
In that moment a great gratitude extended thru my bones and soul with a certainty. I am so grateful for knowing that silent space exists and is there for me whenever I choose to drop my ideas of how life should look, or what I think I need, or what I think I have to do to get there. Wherever “there” is. It was a tantric moment. The moment I am attempting to create for my clients. The moment that all prayer/practice/breath/yoga/massage stroke is attempting to deliver people to. Unity. And in that unity a natural gratitude extends so that one can only say thank you. Because it’s just awesome. And feels so right. Thank you life for being this awesome for no reason. Thank you for opening to me.
So today, I would suggest to you to take some time to just sit silently, amongst the food and people and festivities, and just feel your self in the presence of life. Offer yourself to this gratitude, offer yourself and your actions and your time and money to this place of unity. This is tantra. When everything comes together into one cosmic love affair. Just you, the porch and the steam. Just you, the couch and the smells from the oven. Just you and some Uncle you have nothing to say to. Just you and your kid nephew throwing popcorn everywhere. Just you and your girlfriend whose talking about something you have no interest in. Just you and the night sky. Just you and the grocery clerk 5 minutes before the store closes for that last onion you probably won’t need but just maybe. Just pause there.
Today I am grateful to remember that this unity is happening all the time, that this inner peace is but a prayer away, that even when it feels like “it leaves” it is only a moment away from returning, reinventing itself, re configuring how it chooses to express itself. Today I am grateful for the beings in my life, that continue to challenge me to remember this, for the opportunity to even touch this, to free myself from the compulsive need to think I can control anything, or that I have somewhere I have to get to. Today I am grateful for that steam and that crisp afternoon on a Manhattan porch with nowhere to go and nothing to do but let it in, let it out, and make my way over to the place where the good people live, dancing and eating turkey and telling stories that go all night. I am grateful to have both.
Thank you thank you thank you.
This is Tantra….